A story of an resilience, PTSD, avoidant attachment and post-traumatic growth. And how sometimes one needs to be truly lost to find one's true self. A case study.
What a beautiful and inspiring story. I’m so glad Bobby was able to overcome much of his PTSD! Coming from someone who has also had to claw my way through PTSD I know how hard and how much work he had to do to get to this point!
😮 Brilliant post thank you. I’m about to start training the be a counsellor and I can resonate with Bobby on a few levels. I have a lot to learn, and I enjoyed reading this.
Hey Jenny. Thank you for reading, and I am so glad to hear that Bobby's story has resonated with you. It's an adventure becoming a counsellor and it is rarely a profession we just choose as a career path - I think there often is a story behind. It's an adventure and I am wishing you good luck with it. Ana
This was a fantastic story! As an aspiring psychotherapist myself, it's so fascinating to get such a privileged picture of people's lives, and use what insights come forth from it to help them improve it.
I really wasn't expecting the turnaround into Bobby becoming a therapist either! I love hearing stories of people having revelations and major life shifts like that. I'm often afraid of committing fully to one thing for the rest of my life, so hearing that many can find success despite not doing so is a great comfort.
I could see Bobby's dream so clearly as I was reading that section too. It brought a little peace to my day, thinking of those green fields. I also really enjoyed the reveal that Bobby's father -- who was set up well as the masculine ideal, the patriarchal figure -- struggled with his own mental health and as you put it, was "human after all."
One last remark, I think the structure of this story was great. Starting with the small flash of trauma towards the beginning of the text, followed by the years (and paragraphs) of trauma precipitating from that small passage does wonders in expressing on a literary level how events so seemingly small and insignificant (to others, and also temporally) can have such irrevocable effects on the course of our lives.
Thanks for this engaging, well-crafted, and insightful story. I await your next post with bated breath!
Hey! Thank you for reading and for your lovely feedback. Bobby is indeed becoming a therapist and I wish you good luck on that journey too. Knowing that Bobby's dream brought you a moment of peace fills my heart with joy - the ripples of joy still felt from one dream of good omen. 🙏
I am hesitant to comment as I imagine it may not be seen in the best of light by some, or even most, but...I am nothing if not direct. First, what a great article that was to read. As with all well written peices, it prompts thoughts the entire way through it.
A few of them for me were:
1. PTSD is a fickle foe. Entirely subjective as to where the threshold lies between "event", "trauma", and "PTSD".
2. Not knowing the details makes it very difficult to relate fully to Bobby. Not that I didn't, only that I am pretty aware of my own bias and without something to either affirm or allay it, I land neutral more times than not.
3. PTSD might not be the actual problem. This is entirely speculative but it occurs to me that many people dealing with such things do not seek out help in the form of talking to another person. What I am getting at is that PTSD may not be so much from the trauma, and moreso from the containment of that trauma.
4. Do people with PTSD generally know they have PTSD? I ask because I'd not say that I have PTSD, but I've got some serious unaddressed things from my past that all sit around a campfire nightly and we argue it out. Sometimes one will finally leave, but most stay, and I expect them to be there each night. Not healthy I am sure, but functional.
There were more, but as this is my first time commenting I am trying to wear out a welcome with questions that might not land all that great in the first place.
Hi Ryan. First, I want to say thank you for reading and hank you for engaging critically. I absolutely welcome any thoughts on any of my pieces, and ultimately it is through what other people bring to the discussion that I learn - so I will never see that in any negative light. For me, to give an assessment of PTSD would take four criteria: hyperarousal, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance and avoidance. And in this case it was compounded with PTSD nightmares. And I think you are right, when it comes to the containment of the trauma - in some cases it might be that, and specifically in this one I think that is certainly right.
People often think what is the point of talking, it is not going to change anything that has happened, but talking is much more than exchanging words and communicating verbally - as probably anyone who has been to therapy knows.
I don't think everyone who has PTSD knows it. Bobby had no idea, for example. But he knew he was not well. For me, clinically, there is a big difference between PTSD (or CPTSD) or difficult and unresolved issues from the past - and I am not putting any scale on which one is more or less difficult. It all depends. In some ways we know how to work with PTSD, so it can be targeted better than an unresolved issues in general. Unresolved issues sitting around the camp fire each night. What an image. And maybe a good way to accept that these unwanted visitors are there and welcome them anyways?
Being uptight, things running through a persons mind without actively thinking about them, increased gaurdedness towards something, and changing ones lifestyle to lessen the odds of encountering what they are hypervigilant about? Am I understanding the criteria correctly? I assume all four need to be regarding the same topic. For example, a person can be anxious when going into public spaces and while they are there, they constantly are on look out for people to look at them in a judging manner could be considered to not have PTSD but the person who has the same traits, but instead of going anyway, avoids it altogether and instead orders things online might?
I expect its more nuanced than that, but serves as a baseline for an online peice. It occurs to me in this moment now....does PTSD always show symptoms within a related domain? What I mean is, to use the classic example, a soldier having PTSD might find it difficult to go into public spaces because of their having seen a level of chaos in a conflict. I am grasping at straws but I can only guess that the reason for this is from a sense of duty to protect innocents that might not have been satisfied in said conflict and now haunts them in daily life?
If considering that to be somewhere in the domain of true, then what might have been Bobby's triggering mechanism? I feel like I rambled there, heh.
To your last sentence, yes, thats how I see them. I do not begrudge the issues for being there, nor my inability to make them go away. I suppose I just accept that I have issues and have decided that I can live with 'em. Peoples perception is something I cannot control, nor care to.
Also, I cannot help myself as it's constantly returning to me that I should include that I am glad that the process worked out for Bobby, and that he has managed to get through the worst of it, even being so grateful as to feel moved to give the very same gift to others.
Largely in part thanks to you for understanding how to help Bobby help himself get past, and stay past the...well...past I suppose. ;)
A question - what does a GSR machine actually measure?
Bobby has certainly done well, it would appear...I suspect if he can maintain his sobriety, combined with the inevitable questioning involved in training to be a therapist himself, his ability to deal with life and his contentment with it will improve still further.
And I think you're right - it is when we have the insight to see that things are not going "well" that we are prompted to question and potentially initiate change, as well as being more likely to be receptive to accepting change when it arises. When things are going "well", we will try to cling to them...
Hey Stephen. GSR is Galvanic Skin Conductance and it is a proxy for sympathetic arousal (stress activation if you will). People with PTSD, but also anxiety to a certain extent, will typically have high sympathetic arousal. Thank you so much for reading. I agree from experience with my work and personal experience, it is the obstacles and hardship that drive change.
Hi Ana, Neuroscience & Psychotherapy must be rewritten because all of you are working based on beliefs, not truths. Here I offered you a link to the problem all of you are creating because you don't know objectively what Consciousness is, nor what the Mind is. Subjectively you all know everything but don't remember it yet. https://theperceptionshift.substack.com/p/the-dependency-trap-why-some-healing?r=5q3x5r
Why does it matter whether the result is labelled as "dependency" by a third party when the person who has been seeking change feels better and is able to thrive. Surely your - subjective - interpretation can only serve to pour cold water on what may well have been seen as a positive process by the people directly affected by it?
Also...who DOES actually KNOW what consciousness or Mind (with or without a capital "m") is? Nobody...currently.
Finally, true objectivity is, I think, a pipedream....we will always interpret perceptions, and those interpretations are inescapably subjective.
Thanks for your question about the Mind and Consciousness because I know what they are. Please send me your email and I will send you a copy of my theories, in this way we can share more information.
I appreciate your taking the time to respond Tomas - thank you...but after a decade of zen practice I was given the most valuable advice I've had so far in life relating to these matters:
Sorry Stephen, I didn't mean that you don't know it. Let me explain it better. You and everyone know everything subjective, but objectively we forget our origin for the purity of the experience, your practice of Zen can help you to remember.
What a beautiful and inspiring story. I’m so glad Bobby was able to overcome much of his PTSD! Coming from someone who has also had to claw my way through PTSD I know how hard and how much work he had to do to get to this point!
😮 Brilliant post thank you. I’m about to start training the be a counsellor and I can resonate with Bobby on a few levels. I have a lot to learn, and I enjoyed reading this.
Hey Jenny. Thank you for reading, and I am so glad to hear that Bobby's story has resonated with you. It's an adventure becoming a counsellor and it is rarely a profession we just choose as a career path - I think there often is a story behind. It's an adventure and I am wishing you good luck with it. Ana
Thank you Ana, I absolutely agree
This was a fantastic story! As an aspiring psychotherapist myself, it's so fascinating to get such a privileged picture of people's lives, and use what insights come forth from it to help them improve it.
I really wasn't expecting the turnaround into Bobby becoming a therapist either! I love hearing stories of people having revelations and major life shifts like that. I'm often afraid of committing fully to one thing for the rest of my life, so hearing that many can find success despite not doing so is a great comfort.
I could see Bobby's dream so clearly as I was reading that section too. It brought a little peace to my day, thinking of those green fields. I also really enjoyed the reveal that Bobby's father -- who was set up well as the masculine ideal, the patriarchal figure -- struggled with his own mental health and as you put it, was "human after all."
One last remark, I think the structure of this story was great. Starting with the small flash of trauma towards the beginning of the text, followed by the years (and paragraphs) of trauma precipitating from that small passage does wonders in expressing on a literary level how events so seemingly small and insignificant (to others, and also temporally) can have such irrevocable effects on the course of our lives.
Thanks for this engaging, well-crafted, and insightful story. I await your next post with bated breath!
Hey! Thank you for reading and for your lovely feedback. Bobby is indeed becoming a therapist and I wish you good luck on that journey too. Knowing that Bobby's dream brought you a moment of peace fills my heart with joy - the ripples of joy still felt from one dream of good omen. 🙏
I am hesitant to comment as I imagine it may not be seen in the best of light by some, or even most, but...I am nothing if not direct. First, what a great article that was to read. As with all well written peices, it prompts thoughts the entire way through it.
A few of them for me were:
1. PTSD is a fickle foe. Entirely subjective as to where the threshold lies between "event", "trauma", and "PTSD".
2. Not knowing the details makes it very difficult to relate fully to Bobby. Not that I didn't, only that I am pretty aware of my own bias and without something to either affirm or allay it, I land neutral more times than not.
3. PTSD might not be the actual problem. This is entirely speculative but it occurs to me that many people dealing with such things do not seek out help in the form of talking to another person. What I am getting at is that PTSD may not be so much from the trauma, and moreso from the containment of that trauma.
4. Do people with PTSD generally know they have PTSD? I ask because I'd not say that I have PTSD, but I've got some serious unaddressed things from my past that all sit around a campfire nightly and we argue it out. Sometimes one will finally leave, but most stay, and I expect them to be there each night. Not healthy I am sure, but functional.
There were more, but as this is my first time commenting I am trying to wear out a welcome with questions that might not land all that great in the first place.
Hi Ryan. First, I want to say thank you for reading and hank you for engaging critically. I absolutely welcome any thoughts on any of my pieces, and ultimately it is through what other people bring to the discussion that I learn - so I will never see that in any negative light. For me, to give an assessment of PTSD would take four criteria: hyperarousal, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance and avoidance. And in this case it was compounded with PTSD nightmares. And I think you are right, when it comes to the containment of the trauma - in some cases it might be that, and specifically in this one I think that is certainly right.
People often think what is the point of talking, it is not going to change anything that has happened, but talking is much more than exchanging words and communicating verbally - as probably anyone who has been to therapy knows.
I don't think everyone who has PTSD knows it. Bobby had no idea, for example. But he knew he was not well. For me, clinically, there is a big difference between PTSD (or CPTSD) or difficult and unresolved issues from the past - and I am not putting any scale on which one is more or less difficult. It all depends. In some ways we know how to work with PTSD, so it can be targeted better than an unresolved issues in general. Unresolved issues sitting around the camp fire each night. What an image. And maybe a good way to accept that these unwanted visitors are there and welcome them anyways?
Being uptight, things running through a persons mind without actively thinking about them, increased gaurdedness towards something, and changing ones lifestyle to lessen the odds of encountering what they are hypervigilant about? Am I understanding the criteria correctly? I assume all four need to be regarding the same topic. For example, a person can be anxious when going into public spaces and while they are there, they constantly are on look out for people to look at them in a judging manner could be considered to not have PTSD but the person who has the same traits, but instead of going anyway, avoids it altogether and instead orders things online might?
I expect its more nuanced than that, but serves as a baseline for an online peice. It occurs to me in this moment now....does PTSD always show symptoms within a related domain? What I mean is, to use the classic example, a soldier having PTSD might find it difficult to go into public spaces because of their having seen a level of chaos in a conflict. I am grasping at straws but I can only guess that the reason for this is from a sense of duty to protect innocents that might not have been satisfied in said conflict and now haunts them in daily life?
If considering that to be somewhere in the domain of true, then what might have been Bobby's triggering mechanism? I feel like I rambled there, heh.
To your last sentence, yes, thats how I see them. I do not begrudge the issues for being there, nor my inability to make them go away. I suppose I just accept that I have issues and have decided that I can live with 'em. Peoples perception is something I cannot control, nor care to.
Also, I cannot help myself as it's constantly returning to me that I should include that I am glad that the process worked out for Bobby, and that he has managed to get through the worst of it, even being so grateful as to feel moved to give the very same gift to others.
Largely in part thanks to you for understanding how to help Bobby help himself get past, and stay past the...well...past I suppose. ;)
Hi...interesting...
A question - what does a GSR machine actually measure?
Bobby has certainly done well, it would appear...I suspect if he can maintain his sobriety, combined with the inevitable questioning involved in training to be a therapist himself, his ability to deal with life and his contentment with it will improve still further.
And I think you're right - it is when we have the insight to see that things are not going "well" that we are prompted to question and potentially initiate change, as well as being more likely to be receptive to accepting change when it arises. When things are going "well", we will try to cling to them...
Have a great day!
Hey Stephen. GSR is Galvanic Skin Conductance and it is a proxy for sympathetic arousal (stress activation if you will). People with PTSD, but also anxiety to a certain extent, will typically have high sympathetic arousal. Thank you so much for reading. I agree from experience with my work and personal experience, it is the obstacles and hardship that drive change.
Hi Ana, Neuroscience & Psychotherapy must be rewritten because all of you are working based on beliefs, not truths. Here I offered you a link to the problem all of you are creating because you don't know objectively what Consciousness is, nor what the Mind is. Subjectively you all know everything but don't remember it yet. https://theperceptionshift.substack.com/p/the-dependency-trap-why-some-healing?r=5q3x5r
Hmm...couple of points:
Why does it matter whether the result is labelled as "dependency" by a third party when the person who has been seeking change feels better and is able to thrive. Surely your - subjective - interpretation can only serve to pour cold water on what may well have been seen as a positive process by the people directly affected by it?
Also...who DOES actually KNOW what consciousness or Mind (with or without a capital "m") is? Nobody...currently.
Finally, true objectivity is, I think, a pipedream....we will always interpret perceptions, and those interpretations are inescapably subjective.
Just my opinion, obviously😁
Thanks for your question about the Mind and Consciousness because I know what they are. Please send me your email and I will send you a copy of my theories, in this way we can share more information.
I appreciate your taking the time to respond Tomas - thank you...but after a decade of zen practice I was given the most valuable advice I've had so far in life relating to these matters:
Beware of anyone who claims to "know".
I wish you well.🙏
Sorry Stephen, I didn't mean that you don't know it. Let me explain it better. You and everyone know everything subjective, but objectively we forget our origin for the purity of the experience, your practice of Zen can help you to remember.
🙏
Here is a publication that can be of interest to you: https://theperceptionshift.substack.com/p/universal-consciousness-and-the-perception?r=5q3x5r